Thanks to pictureyellow for creating an
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Yeah. I migrated over to Blogspot, where it's relatively quiet.

Maybe it's an old age thing, you know?

Like, the other day, the Best Friend was saying how, the reason why we don't have 3 million friends on Facebook is because most people our age are busy with that next stage in their lives --- buying homes, getting married, having kids...all of that adult stuff that we were supposed to be transitioning into. Yet, here we are, sort of in the same position as always...I guess the difference lately is that it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

Maybe the older you get, the more you start realizing that nothing is ever as good or bad as it seems and that you should take each moment as it comes and sort of savour it for what it is.

See? I've mellowed with age.

(Nevermind the fact that it's been almost a year since I last wrote in here.)

Yeah, so the Facebook thing...I didn't really think I'd end up joining, but for most of you who haven't been following my various blogs, I discovered someone from Facebook had been referred to my blog and out of curiosity, I clicked on the link but couldn't really view the profile or anything like that unless I joined Facebook. Didn't realize it at the time, but I'd have to add this person, too, as a friend, before I could view the profile.

Ah well.

Life has been...it's been surprisingly okay. Does that make for a boring blog, though? I find people full of angst to be more interesting to read. It's like, when things get more settled and you're happy, you have less to write about...though, that's never really been the case with me. Always have something to write about...and it always amuses me a little when I go back and read old journal entries.

I'll need to play catch-up and see what other people on my friends' list have been up to.

Sister 3's friend is staying with her psychotic boyfriend --- a guy who scared the shit out of her once, causing her to make a mad dash out of the car to go hiding behind a bush in the hopes he wouldn't find her --- because she thinks that putting in three years counts for something.

To kind of borrow from "He's Just Not That Into You"...three years is three years, except when it's three years of blowing up at each other, hiding behind bushes on a road side, and not really seeing yourself with the guy in the long term...unless you've just kinda gone along from one year to the next, getting used to having someone there 'cause it's easier to be with someone you don't like rather than having to hack it on your own.

Sister 3's friend --- let's call her Mascara Girl because of her over-fondness of eye make-up --- is the kind of girl that I don't really think much of. I mean, I won't go so far as to say I hate her. I mean, it takes too much energy to hate people, you know? But I don't like girls like her...the kind of girl who sees herself as an extension of a guy, part of a couple, and half of a whole, which I think is bullshit because if you go through life thinking you need someone to complete you, then you're just seriously cracked.

Mascara Girl actually quit school 'cause the boyfriend --- a real 'tard who leads a merry little Asian band of followers that he calls "The Family" --- was finished school. So, she ups and quits so she can hang around him full-time, chauffeuring him around, sleeping over at his place, and basically ever ready to be at his beck and call.

WTF? Seriously! WTF??

There's only a few things you can trust in life: your education and your money and yourself.

Yeah, okay, so maybe I'm sounding uber paranoid and like I'm quoting from the X-Files here, but seriously, you're better off not trusting anybody.

So, anyway, Mascara Girl was debating over whether to break up with Wannabe Triad Leader 'cause when she was away, he developed feelings for this Hoe. (And I call her the Hoe, 'cause I've never known a girl who has this name to NOT be a Hoe.) Technically, he didn't really cheat, but you know how these young'uns are. It's like emotional cheating, no?

But instead of doing what a self-respecting woman would do --- which is dump the guy's ass --- she waited around, hoping he'd confess. What the fuck is he supposed to confess to if he didn't act on his feelings? According to her twisted logic, if he confessed, then he'd know that he was the one responsible for their break-up, not her.

WTF?

If you had even the teeniest, tiniest shred of dignity and pride, you wouldn't want to pull this bullshit.

If I was in her place, I would have said, "Fuck this shit. I don't need this."

Guys always complain about women playing mind games.Duh. No shit. I get why.

Awhile back, I remember reading this interview with Alan Ball, discussing the third season of Six Feet Under and he said, "David makes the right choice, to commit to the relationship, as opposed to taking this spoiled American consumer baby boomer attitude of, 'Okay, it's not working, I'm getting bored, let's find something else. There's got to be something new and improved out there.'"

Yeah...that's kind of different, though. It's like you're actually working to save something and not abandonning ship just 'cause you're bored. But with Mascara Girl? Jesus H. Christ, you know? You're clinging onto a guy who's not worth it --- who gets psychotic over stupid shit like you not being able to drop everything when he calls you like you're some pet dog or something.

I don't like Wannabe Triad Guy. I wasn't overly impressed with the pair when they came to Sister 3's birthday last year. The both of them made me want to throw up. And I don't particularly like the fact that Sister 3 seems to place "The Family" in a higher position than her actual family.

Lately, I kinda feel like she'll drop everything to be there for Mascara Girl, but it's like easier to ignore how her own flesh and blood is feeling.

Who knows? Maybe I'm just jealous of Mascara Girl, 'cause Sister 3 seems to care more about her than she does me.

Quote of the Day:

"Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course, the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned." - Mary Alice, "Desperate Housewives"

Read this:

And the world's loneliest Web users are..
Mon May 15, 2006 09:15 AM ET

DUBLIN (Reuters) - Ireland may be enjoying stellar economic growth and seen as one of the best places in the world to live, but its inhabitants are apparently also the globe's loneliest.
Google Trends, which works out how many searches have been done via the Internet search engine on particular terms, showed the word "lonely" was entered most frequently by Internet users in Ireland: http://www.google.com/trends?q=lonely.

---

Read this thing in the New Yorker awhile back by Evan Ratliff about how, if you google “I’m lonely” , you’ll stumble across this thread on a message board on moviecodec.com --- a site dedicated to the techno side of viewing digitial video files --- where someone wrote that. Now, it’s become this posting ground for other people who find themselves feeling the same way.

It’s strange, ‘cause often, we think we’re the only ones out there.

Weird, huh?

I know it's still early --- it's barely 9 a.m. as I write this --- but I kind of wondered if anybody else would write about their mothers, this being Mother's Day and all.

I was checking out Post Secret this morning and good ol' Frank made the theme about mothers.

It got me thinking about how, the relationship between a mother and child is probably one of the most complicated relationships of all. Harlequin Reader never used to get along with her mother, but now that she's stuck in a bad marriage with two kids of her own, she's begun to see her mother as the best friend she never knew she had.

Mothers and daughters, I think, get that sense more so than sons ever do. Sons are only your's until they marry, whereas a daughter is your's forever...that is, if you're lucky and you've got the good sort of relationship with your mom.

---

My friends have gotten used to me whipping out the old camera whenever I see them or their kids.

There's just something about kids that presents more of a challenge when you're taking pictures. When they're a year old, like the kid featured in the four shots, he had a tendency to run around a lot and turn his head at the last minute. Coaxing a smile out of him was near impossible.

When you get to a kid who's a little older --- say, two years old like this one --- and they're a bit of a ham, it's easy. You get a big old goofy smile and a willingness to play around for the camera. I'm not a huge fan of posing people because I like to try and capture a sense of kids when they're at play --- that's what we remember most about them, instead of them standing or sitting stiffly, with a forced smile.

That being said, if you're going to pose them, you've gotta know how to do it right so that it doesn't look boring and stupid:

Newborns...well, there are only a few things you can do. I like getting the camera as close as possible without disturbing the baby and taking pictures from various angles to see what works. I think one of the biggest mistakes is when people print off every single shot they have. You need to learn to be a bit more selective 'cause not every shot's going to be a good one.

Is there anything sweeter than a baby sleeping?

Maybe a baby who's awake?

Fuck the year of yes.

That's going down the toilet.

Mostly, I'm just tired now. So, yes, fuck it. I'm going to do the single mom thing and adopt. No more calling it Plan B. Its been promoted. Though, I can't exactly call it Plan A, 'cause it's not. So, maybe I'll call in The Plan --- except, it sort of vaguely makes me sound like I'm in a cult or maybe a Scientologist. Though, having no real solid understanding of what Scientology is, I probably shouldn't have written that --- but, bah, too lazy to hit the delete button and go back on it. Besides, if you really think about it, it's sort of like a metaphor for life, right? You can't wipe the shit that's already been done and the only thing you can really do is plug on forward. Well, that's only if you're a smart chicky. Otherwise, you're just a whiny asshole who's stuck. Hmmm...so maybe that's not so much of a metaphor as it is an analogy. Will check on AskOxford later, for the sake of satisfying my own curiosity.

I wonder if they allow you to choose your own kid when you go to the orphanage. I don't know if I could do that. I mean, all of those kids and you can only take one home. Maybe they choose for you. Has anybody seen Meg Ryan's new baby? She's so cute! And I actually kinda like the name Daisy, 'cause I think it suits her. I bet Meg got to pick her, 'cause she's a big celebrity with lots of money. It's, like, whenever I hear about someone who has adopted, I already like them 100 times more. On a date with Lawyer Guy last Friday, he claimed he'd always wanted to adopt too, which made me want to roll my eyes and call him a liar. Um, yeah. Sure. Whatever.

Yeah. I'm all hiss and fangs lately.

So. I haven't been really following American Idol, but OMG, why was Chris voted out? I thought he was the best singer with the best stage presence. And even though I'm not too crazy about Elliot or Taylor or whatever the old-looking dude's name is, I kinda want a guy to win this time around, though it'll probably be Katherine who takes the title. How come you don't hear from any of the other Idols beyond Kelly? Speaking of which, WTF was she wearing in her latest video? That wasn't even trailor trash so much as an assault to my eyes.

Work-wise, I've come to the realization that one of my colleagues is a snake in the grass and I've decided that it's best to stick to the old saying: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. She was really irritating me yesterday and because I have PMS, I was afraid I'd, like, shank her or something. And as an aside, the last episode of Prison Break? The. Best. Ever! Why didn't T-Bag just shank Bellick? Hated T-Bag at first, but he's kinda funny...which sounds sick that I find that perv amusing. My friend at work was like, "I like him. He looks like the kinda guy who follows through on things." We started giggling and then I was like, "I think we're both sick. Why do we even think this kind of thing's funny?"

I'm not doing so great.

*sigh*

Can't think of anything else to write.

Just...not so happy lately. Not even fine or okay.

It's exhausting pretending you are.

I'm in such a lousy mood.

Called Soap Opera Girl to cancel lunch today because I just wasn't in the mood to ooh and aah over her engagement ring. Nope. I wanted to go buy myself some shoes to fill the void in my life.

Wearing The Shoes Of Death right now.

They're pointy, backless high heels and I've never worn them before and they hurt. Not that this is the reason I need to go shoe shopping. I know it's a pattern with me. I feel like shit, so I go buy myself something. I'm a borderline shopaholic. I once changed my outfit just because...well, let's not get into the "why". I realize now that that was insane. I came into work with my hair and clothes one way and then come back from lunch wearing a new top and my hair scraped back in a pony tail.

I have a date with Scientist Guy on Sunday and I kinda don't want to go. This might have more to do with being in a pissy mood, though. Maybe it's PMS. It's like one of those days where you think, "The next person who says something stupid or gets all nosy is really going to get it. I'm going to fucking punch them in the face."

Ugh.

I don't want to be at work right now.

Can you believe what happened on Lost last night? Ana Lucia was just growing on me, too. Apparently, Michelle Rodriguez came on the show with the request of doing just a one-year contract, so they'd always decided to kill her off at the end of the season.

But still. Damn.

When Michael shot Libby, the look on his face...that was haunting. But you could understand why he was doing all of this. It was to get Walt back.

One of the girls has suggested giving me "bitch lessons" 'cause I'm not the most confrontational person --- that's how I wind up drowning in work...'cause I can't seem to say no when someone asks me to help them out on a project. This other girl, though? The other day she actually told one of the women: "Don't get in my face or I'll crush your skull in with my foot." I guess it's vaguely sick that I had a moment of pure admiration...basically 'cause she can get away with saying stuff like that while I would never even dream about saying that out loud.

Another thing she's always saying?

"Don't make me punch you in the throat."

She used to take kung fu and she says it's more painful for the other person if you punch them in the throat instead of the face. Good to know, huh?
*
I want to do a Post Secret card about Aunt Evil.

I was thinking about just putting her picture and then writing "The face of evil" on her forehead and then finding some way to have her see it.

But then I thought that'd be childish and stupid.

It wouldn't be a waste of time 'cause I have plenty of it to waste.
*
Was talking to Harlequin Reader tonight and she kind of calmed me down about the whole Aunt Evil thing.

She gave me some good material to say to the bitch when I see her on Friday.

A part of me thinks that, now that gran's dead, why bother even going to these family things? I don't even like or care about most of my aunts and uncles and cousins, anyway.

That's maybe why I love my friends so much...because I'll have someone like Harlequin Reader, who'll call me up and know everything and know how to make me feel better about things, too.

Every once in awhile, I'll feel this sense of, "Yes! I don't have homework! I don't have to write any essay or do a project or an independent study or anything!"

I'd been working away all morning on my scrapbook. I opted to take all of the Vegas pictures and put them in the scrapbook. I had such a great time doing it that I'm going to do a scrapbook for all of my travels now. I'll take loads of pictures, but I'll be uber selective about what I decide to print, you know? I was reading the National Geographic Traveler and the editor was talking about how with digital photography, you can take as many pictures as you want with a relatively inexpensive camera and then select the one that's the best. That's what I'm going to do, because I want to get away from the touristy shots and try to capture a better sense of the place I'm at.

I loved the way the scrapbook turned out.


09Apr06 001
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

09Apr06 002
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

It took most of the morning and I continued to work on it after I got back from the hair salon.

Anyways, a long, long time ago, summercamp asked me how exactly I displayed my pictures 'cause I like to hang them up on the wall.

And since I had time today:


09Apr06 003
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

09Apr06 004
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

Okay, summercamp: remember when you asked me what my guilty pleasure TV show is? Well, I have a new one.

It's 8th and Ocean.

*sigh*

Shit. Now that MTV is in Canada, I'm totally going to get suckered into watching it. Who needs a life when you can watch MTV? =)

So...8th & Ocean? So bad, it's good.

It's about these ten models living in a beachfront apartment complex in South Beach. Need I say more?

Okay, I'm going to be a nerd and recap what happened, 'cause, you know, I do stupid shit like that. And plus, I have to give you the background info so that you'll know why I was so glad to finally see a girl do something smart when it comes to the dating game.



In a couple of scenes, Teddy, the brooding male model from Niagara Falls, is shown with his fellow flatmates, discussing how he'd like to get to know Britt, the virginal newbie from Kansas, and cool dude Sean advises him to take it slow and not to try and "jump into her panties right away". So, Teddy asks her out for Thursday dinner and she says okay, 'cause it's obvious that she kinda likes him, too.

And at first, even though they looked cute together --- in that awkward, trying-to-play-it-cool way --- it was easy for me to dismiss Britt as a typical girly girl, you know? The sort who'd rush head first into something just 'cause it was all so new to her?


Britt


Teddy

I mean, this was the kid who didn't want to go clubbing because she didn't know how to dance. She was friggin' home schooled.

But then --- get this --- they're all called for a casting and there's this model named Heidi, who's the agency's "rising star". Anyways, she's chatting away with Teddy and when Britt walks in (who, by the way, is much prettier), Teddy just ignores her! Later, at the beach, he tells Vinci (this absolute ass) that he wants to date Britt, but he wants to date Heidi, too. (Guess what Vinci tells him? "Why are you going on and on about two girls who aren't even here when there are hundreds more on the beach?" Ass.)

He goes out with Heidi and they're making out in the whirlpool at the models' apartment. The girl models are having a girls' night in and they see this. Poor Britt --- she puts on this brave face, but, I actually felt an empathetic stab of hurt. Like, why lead her on like that if you're just going to suck face with a piece of skank a few days before the date you asked her on? Why spout bullshit about how you're looking for "true love"? (Gag.)

When she shows up at his apartment later, I'm thinking, "Good God, no. Don't be some pathetic girl. Don't do this." Like, why continue to talk to the guy and pretend you're cool and go out on a date with him when you're hurt that he doesn't like you enough to just see you?

Okay. I thought about me and Ass Face. I was like this. So pathetic.

Anyways, my girl Britt does me proud by telling Teddy in a very nice, very neutral way that she thinks it's best if they don't go out on that Thursday date because they have different values and morals and views on dating. She doesn't say anything about the whirlpool spectacle he put on (he was fully aware that the girls were watching and he said he didn't give a damn). She was all class.

But get this! He actually acts all wounded and says, "So, what? I'm not even worth sharing a meal with?" You damn straight you're not worth sharing a meal with, you fucking prick. And then, he's like, "I feel like you're not even going to take the chance to get to know me."

*rolls eyes*

You blew your chance, you stupid dipshit.

I kept telling Sister 4, "I'm so proud of Britt!"

And she looked at me like I was a derranged lunatic and said I sounded like Britt's mother. I shrugged and said that I would hope that when I have a daughter, she'd be like Britt...well, in terms of romance.

'Cause you know, I don't plan on raising a fool.